Kinder, Gentler Ways to Say Someone is Stupid

• The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
• A few clowns short of a circus.
• A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
• An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
• A few beers short of a six-pack.
• Dumber than a box of hair.
• A few peas short of a casserole.
• Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
• One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
• One taco short of a combination plate.
• A few feathers short of a whole duck.
• All foam, no beer.
• The cheese slid off his cracker.
• Body by Fisher - brains by Mattel.
• Has an IQ of 2, takes 3 to grunt.
• Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
• Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
• He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
• An intellect rivaled only by that of garden tools.
• As smart as bait.
• Chimney's clogged.
• Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
• Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
• Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
• Forgot to pay his brain bill.
• Her sewing machine's out of thread.
• His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
• His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
• If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
• Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
• No grain in the silo.
• Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse..
• Played football without a helmet.
• Receiver is off the hook.
• Several nuts short of a full pouch.
• Skylight leaks a little.
• Slinky's kinked.
• Surfing in Nebraska.
• Too much yardage between the goal posts.
• Strong, like Bear... Smart, like Tractor.